I seem to have taken a months hiatus from blogging. Not sure how that happened. The last time I blogged about the Creating Dreams Come True e-course I’ve been participating in was almost 2 months ago so for those of you who don’t know, it’s a series of weekly activities, each one a step to achieving your dreams.
I don’t do the activities weekly so I’m not blogging about the latest assignment here. The assignment I’m currently tackling is creating a success tracker. This assignment has serendipitously come at a perfect time for me. I’ve been diligently plodding away at achieving my creative dreams for 3 months now and have recently been lamenting my perceived lack of progress. This assignment gave me the perfect opportunity to switch my perspective around and focus on everything that I have achieved instead of everything that I haven’t . When I consider the achievements in light of the bigger context then they become even more impressive.
For example, I’ve joined Deviant Art. Not something to break out the bubbly for unless I stop to consider that I used to spend hours trawling through that website in admiration of the art I found there when I probably should have been writing some dull lab report for first year psychology. So, now I’m a member of an online community that I used to admire from afar long before I had any notions of making art or selling my art and designs. Definitely something that is worthy of reflection.
Before I began this assignment I’d already created a section in my journal for a “Compliments Memory”. I created this to keep my inner critic in check. She’s a real douche canoe and can get completely out of control sometimes and even took the driver’s seat in my life for a good long while. Her favourite method of sabotage is to dredge up random memories of times when I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, fun enough, pretty enough, blah blah blah (I know: She’s actually quite dull really, so passé). Having said that she can also be quite subtle and passive aggressive – a much more insidious strategy. What she really seems to excel at is erasing all the times I have ever done anything right from my memory.
One method I tried to combat her stealth attacks was to immediately think of an alternate example when I had been good enough, smart enough, etc and so on. An excellent plan I thought. She was way ahead of me. I seemed to have mis-placed all of those moments in life that I should have been cherishing and instead expended all of that energy storing decade-old missteps and slights. The solution was obvious. Given that I can’t trust my memory to be a kind and less biased historian I decided to create an external memory completely impervious to the ravages of time and silly insecurities.
So I’ve combined my “Compliments Memory” with Andrea’s “Success Tracker” and now have a “Compliments & Achievements Memory”. It’s been going very well so far. I hadn’t looked at it in a while and got it out today for this blog post and enjoyed quite a nice ego boost. It seems obvious to say so but if you’re considering making your own I strongly suggest you don’t censor it in any way. For example, I by no means think I’m anything special when it comes to looks but my partner happens to think I’m a bit of alright so I’ve got quite a list of synonyms for sexy beast in there. So, according to my Compliments & Achievements Memory, I am a hot domestic goddess who makes sweet art with a dark twist, is extremely talented, interesting and exciting, gentle and calm, sensitive, caring, passionate and compassionate, friendly and supportive.
Wow, I didn’t know I was that cool.